Okay. That's it. Its time to get your head and heart at the right place and start contemplating on things. In fact done contemplating things , done with thinking about things. Its time do it and make it happen.
Why is there an always insatiable urge about something in life?
Why does it become so difficult to be satisfied and content and not having to worry about anything else?
I guess its just the nature of wanting to have a constant change.
Change from monotony , from routine , from people , from life.
As the old saying goes "change is the only constant" or its tongue in cheek version "Variety is the spice of life".It is this need for change that makes me do 100 things at the same time. May be to run from monotony or to keep me safe that if 99 things are falling apart i still got 1 thats working for me.
Boredom as i read somewhere is nothing but a byproduct of discontent or disinterest. And i think discontent gives birth to disinterest. But the point is when will this discontent end.
I somehow always wanted to delete this word from my brain " boredom". I refrain from using it because what i feel when people say " I am bored" it might be from the surroundings, from the work but it is more from themselves. Till the time you can keep yourself in your good company you dont want anything else to amuse you.However the boredom bug has hit me more than often recently which is what irritates me. I shouldnt be having time to get bored. There are million things to do and i come up with " I am bored".
Just need a kick start, eye opener a push an inspiration to get things going.
There starts the other problem.
After 3 idiots i've heard this philosophy " Do what you actually want to do. Take up things where your actual talent lies".Now who knows where and what my actual TALENT is.
"Jack of all trades , master of none." This phrase is like tailor made for me.
But i find this problem with most of my friends. Nobody actually knows what they want. We either quote or do or say what the other half of the world is saying and jump in the same boat and when we are on it we try finding life jackets to swim safely to some other territory before it drowns you and takes you down.
I always use to wish. If only I had this one talent , one area in which i could be a master at , there would have been so much less confusion , life would have been so simple, I would know exactly what I want to do and that would have been my ultimate goal.I just cant get my head straight right now to think what I want right now. And even if after putting in all the rationalities , looking deep down inside , being all practical I come up with something that I want , there is this fear that what if i get what i want but this isnt what I need. Its like today I decide that I wanna be a pilot and tomorrow i realize that I am afraid of heights.
So the shit's fu**** up!!
But it goes the other way round too when the rolling stone says
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
My dad keeps on saying " Love what you do, do what you love"
I reply him by saying that this is twisted. It should've been " Do what you love and you will obviously love what you do."
With all this in my head , getting fed up at sometimes I just find the easy way out and say " Chuck it, we'll see what happens."But then the sand is slipping out of the hand. The clock is ticking.If not now then when?
So its time to prioritize things, make some hard decisions, get things back on track, but before all that find the right track.
Words that made me smile yesterday from Grey's Anatomy which totally applies to the situation right now
"Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, if you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular."
So have faith and wait for the view and indeed its going to be SPECTACULAR!!!
Signing off.
