Move over Roadies...Time for ZOADIES.!!!

ok people a warning before you read this and the 3 posts that are linked and going to follow this one:

" This particular post is going to be huge, lengthy and funny at places so if u're bored , want to go for a leak or watch balika vadhu or watever please dont start reading till u're in the mood and have enough patience. Thank you"

let me start by telling you that prateek MALPANI has just won one of the most happening and talked about event of ZOADIAC-09 the cultural festival ofRAJIV GANDHI INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY and the event was ZOADIES.

Zoadies infact was introduced in the college last year and was a huge success. I dint know the popularity of the event till I was a part of it because this happens in full public view and nothing is hidden.

Zoadies as the name suggests is an aped version of the ever so hit reality show ROADIES.

The concept is awesome and connects well with everyone.

I had no intentions whatsoever of taking part in it. Just as I dint take part last year because I was happy winning amazing races (another hit event at every festival) and even if it wasnt for winning I was happy participating.

On 19th March it so happened, I came out of my classroom after the 1 hour " o-so exciting lecture" and i see a poster stuck on the wall which read

" ZOADIES G.D AND P.I 19th and 20th march those interested please contact MITHUN"

I was like OK.. this guy has an event that too the most important event. I was too bored to attend lectures any further and just for timepass I was like lets go for it.. and c wats happening!

And here starts my journey and my one on one account of how I won the mega event "ZOADIES" I am writing things in detail cos I want the memory to remain fresh for many years.

19th March-Thursday

I enter the G.D room and look for mithun where he is his usual self "mind ****ed" with haphazard organization.I went upto him and told him" mithun put me in one of the groups for G.D". So he was like " tujhe pakka seriously part lene ka hai kya toh bol faltu mai shot mat kar"

and then he put me in one of the groups where the topic given to us was

" Should there be a reservation quota in colleges for maharastrians living in maharashtra?"

My obvious response to the topic was a big "NO" and trust me it was no where near G.D people were standing and shouting and fighting.. so even i stood and shouted and fought. Poor aman who was also a part of the group wanted to say but his voice just wouldnt come out and was almost on the verging of becoming deaf sitting in between two people who wer shouting on top of their voice. There was this one guy in my group who said " we want only 5% the rest is there na for u guys"

Which got me saying something

" 5% marathi quota 22% sc st 7% obc 7% girl 3% handicapped 25% management quota toh open meri walo ko kya ghanta milega "

and the moment i stopped there were roars and clapping in the room.

STAGE ONE CLEARED!!!! got selected for the P.I.

20th March-Friday

It was the dreaded PERSONAL INTERVIEW session day. I'd heard so much about it because they obviously would want to ape RAGHU RAJIV and since that is on national television and still looks so bad this is in one class room so it will be full throttle. And people kept on saying that phaad ke rakh denge they insult and they take ur case like anything. I was like let me have this experience as well.

We were given a form where we were made to fill up questions like :

1. What does SEX mean to you?

2.The craziest thing you've ever done?

3.Why do you want to be a ZOADIE?

4.strength weakness and shit?

5. 5 things you cant live widout.

etc etc..

I entered and what happened next was the longest interview ever .. close to 25 minutes and It wasnt me alone there were 20 other ppl sitting in the room besides the judges to get amused.

But still they took my case ... I back answered them... I counter attacked...and I conquered..lol..

The judge sitting there said " You're too boring and relaxed. And I want crazy horny hormonally imbalanced ppl" I am like.. are u sure u selecting for zoadies...lol...

the comment on my form was " Can fight back hard. Good speaker"

(For the entire personal interview video and inputs from it please contact me later :p cos it better be explained and told rather than written about)

STAGE 2 cleared!!!

23rd March Monday - ZODIAC KICKS OFF

I was amongst the 25 people who got selected for the OPEN G.D AND P.I

Yes the zoadies had begun to unveil itself in front of the crowd.
The crowd , the judges , the guests were obviously there to see how us perform and laugh at the lame jokes that the contestants would make to get in.

14 people were supposed to be selected and the guest of the evening was none other than..

guess....guess.....guesss......

it was....

it was...

JACKIE SHROFF...(blehhhhh....)

he came with a youth image of himself with a bandhana low waist jeans which kept on dropping lower as he stood to talk.. in his usual tapori language " aye bidu log.. aye bawa.. aye bidu.."

come on!!..( i guess someone was stoned)

He came , had tea.. spoke nonsense shook hands with the principal and he was off.

Thankfully. Better on screen man!..

So this one just being a formality... the 25 ppl were made to sit on the open lawn of RGIT in full view of public.

Some funny moments.. some really boring.

Nonetheless.. STAGE 3 cleared...!!

There were 14 people selected

1.Malpani

2.Puneet

3.Rohan

4.Rutvick

5.Soham

6.Fahad

7.Anand

8.Varun

9.Alesha

10.Nidhi

11.Nitanta

12.Snehal

13.Bhumika

14.Sunanda

and I was amongst the top 14 people selected for Z-O-A-D-I-E-S and i dint even go with an intention of getting selected.

As they say what has to happen.. has to happen.

Zoadies Winner Takes It All - 1(Wax Your Legs)

contd from above

24th March - Tuesday

All the 14 selected zoadies were called 10 am in the morning. I met Antarang who was apparently called the host or the "ran vijay of zoadies" lol..:p and he told me malpani... jaa upar.. bond with people .. get to know... kaam aayegaa thruout the event...that was a tip from an ex-zoadie.

The only person out of the 14 mentioned I knew properly was Puneet because we were class mates for one full year in first year engineering.

The rest were all new except for a brief talk that i had with NIDHI during the open lawn P.I.

So we were all this one big happy unit. Introducing ourselves, and also we were asked to name one strong and one weak opponent amongst us.

The two people in strong opps were Puneet and Rohan both being huge and looked physical strength and also had the attitude on their face.

The weaker link according to the crowd was Nitanta and Sunanda both being bubbly and sweet and innocent.

TASK NO.1

Mithun and his so called "co-head" Prarthana the organisers of Zoadies came in the room and briefed us about the task no. 1

We were split up into two teams of which puneet and rohan the two strong opps were captains.

I was in rohan's team.

The task was that each team will be provided a skateboard 6 out of 7 members of the team have to balance himself on the board one by one and the one remaining will have to pull the skateboard from one end to another while the other is balancing.

Now the catch was the person balancing will have to collect Sand from where he is starting and take it with him on the skateboard to the other hand where individual buckets of each team have been kept and put the sand inside it.

7 minutes were given.. the team with more sand and less wobbleness will win an advantage.

I felt my team was strong cos we wer confident and we had people to do the exact work what needed.

During the task Rohan was pulling the skateboard and we one by one were on it doing the sand task.

It was damn tiring for the guy but none of us could have pulled even an inch of skateboard if he was standing on it and same goes for puneet.

However the task got over and i could see puneet's team performing miserably and he ended up gettin so frustrated that almost hit anand who was just failing to get on the skateboard.

No guesses we won it hands down and were announced that the immunity was with us.

And the obvious target to make the other team weak just as in roadies was to vote puneet out and the best part was even people from his team wanted him out so it was obvious.

Although he came up to me and my team mates to vote nidhi out giving reasons that she's an ex-zoadie she knows the game well and can play hardcore politics but none of them paid heed to his advice.

The vote out happened 13 votes out of 14 against the tall man puneet.

I was smiling from inside that he's gone and I dint even have to do anything to make that happen, the competitor is gone.

After the vote out results rohan and puneet had a roadie type or rather say zoadie type heated argument both of them accusing each other of being cowards just when antarang.. remember the rann vijay.. lol.. announce that " IT WAS A DUMMY VOTE OUT and is NOT COUNTED"

I was like "***k me"

and the "f words" the " middle fingers" all came up... pointing towards rohan who reciprocated well.

what a start!!!!..

TASK NO.2

The hate puneet camp was still on and i was just nodding my head and wondering now this guy gona c me in the next vote out lol..have to save my ass before that.

The next one was an adventure sports task "rappeling" for the non-immune people and those with the worst time amongst themselves were to be eliminated.

So bye bye Alesha - scared of hites

and bye bye Anand who did well but not well enough.

14-2 = 12 zoadies left

TASK NO.3

Now the crazy hormonal as the judge wanted thing starts from here.

This was crazy to the core. I mean I had no words.

We were 7 guys and 5 girls.

and the next task was "WAXING" boys had to WAX their legs.

I mean come on...just look at the amount of hair I have on my legs. I dint have hair on my legs I had "zulfain"..lol

Puneet already had his legs arms everything waxed I dont know why and was flaunting his legs in a bermuda so he was given the task to wax one of the guy's legs.

Thankfully I dint get him as i picked up the chit and Snehal was the one who was going to do the growth I had since birth. The guys were supposed to spray their partner's hair orange while they are getting bald at the legs.

The task was supposed to last 15 minutes. The guy with the most clean legs and the girl with the most orangish hair will win the immunity.

It was painful .. agreed.. but not as I expected.

Embarassing none the less when all my friends came at that very moment for free show.

Angad tanya neeti parth ankit yash jenis nigah.. everyone.. and angad has a full recording so for the video....fuhget it no one's getting that video atleast.

After 15 minutes what I see.. my one leg is waxed uptill the knees totally from the front side while the calves are as it is hairy. and the other leg hasnt been touched at all.

6 ppl got the immunity and I was not there...wtf wtf wtf!!..

The day ended me being tensed saying to myself.. now I want to win after going through this shit.

Zoadies Winner Takes It All - 2 (Cross-Dressing)

25th March Wednesday

Now this day was a RED LETTER DAY according to Yash cos u better fasten your seat belts before reading this.One heck of unexpected turn of events one after another.I was relaxing and reading a book because the last stage of Zoadies was on 26th and there was nothing today.Just when I am all laid back mood with the vote out and being non- immune and the waxing embarassment still in the back of my mind I get a call from Mithun " fatafat aa college mtv aa raha hai isliye aaj ek - do task hone wala hai voh logo ko cover karne ka hai event"I am like..!!.. "***k me"Had a bath.. got dressed.. and I reach college in 45 mins.

It was time for some mind games, some politics , some sweet talk and some brain wash.All this was supposed to be done by me as our ran vijay very rightly told in the beginning of zoadies " All you have to do is ass-licking and ass-kicking and one who is good at both will win it".So it was the former part first for me to perform.I spoke to puneet explained him the equations and decided to plot against rohan who was non-immune with me.The only 3 dominating ppl who wer non-immune wer malpani(me) , rohan , nidhi. I took nidhi, bhumika,snehal,fahad,puneet into confidence to vote against rohan.However the traitor , dumb**** soham blurted it out all to rohan and his mission to vote me out started taking rutwick into confidence but i guess it was too late.When we reached the vote out scene we learnt that we had to vote out two people one boy and one girl from the non-immune side something i dint have in my mind. So each person will write 2 names.
The vote out started this time the entire college was there witnessing it.

1st vote rohan and nidhi

2nd vote rohan and nidhi

3rd vote malpani and nidhi

4th vote malpani and sunanda

5th vote , 6 th vote, rohan rohan nidhi and snehal..

clearly rohan and nidhi were voted out. The raghu who took our P.I was now hosting the entire voteout and asked rohan who said " ye malpani ki vajah se mai bahar hoo usne poora planning kiya aur mere against plotting kiya hai"
while nidhi claimed dat nitanta was behind her vote out.( Puneet and nitanta both hinted me that they are gona vote nidhi out so I was like nidhi it is.. but i guess she trusted me)

12-2= 10 zoadies left

TASK NO.4

Crazy Crazy Crazy!!!!Cross Dressing???.. U serious... Cross Dressing???and not just that dress yourself as a girl and look as girly as you canwe were provided with halters and singlets and skirts and the make up.Prarthana the co head of the event over there kept on screaming "guys get the X factor" and i was losing my sense of Alphabets cos there was only one word on my tongue after seeing the dresses and no points for guessing.The costumes I wud say .. were skimpy...were short and with my one leg waxed and the other as it is.I dint know wat was gona happen.And what happened was I dunno what to say about it..Read on.
The task was that girls were supposed to dress as guys and guys were supposed to dress as girls go down open lawn and perfrom and get ur X-factor outside in front of the entire college.Yes I was wearing a blue halter and a knee length skirt thank fully..!!lipstick kajal sparkle everything was there.The best performer of cross dressing would win the immunity or something like that.

And my shortcut road to FAME starts here.

I have never seen this much crowd together in college at the same time. It made me nervous and apprehensive.

Trust me what happened in the coming 3 hours never happened in the 3 years that I've already spent in this college.

The host came up to me and told me " Boss aapke paas poori kapoor family hai. One leg has anil kapoor and the other leg has kareena kapoor". lol

The actual girls posed as guys started performing most of them were boo-ed by the crowd except for Nitanta who's in the dancing team of college got a huge yea!!..she danced awesome as usual..!!
Now time for the actual guys posed as girls to perform and the fun starts here.We were 5 guys and it was puneet's turn 1st to go and perform and trust me he raised the bar for all of us cos he performed awesome..!!Even the anchor who was there just to have fun at our expense was enjoying thoroughly..!

Then it was Fahad who also got cheers from the crowd. And then it was Soham who was booed away and got a disappointing response from the crowd.

Now it was me and just before my turn Athirath came up to me and asked me tune koi naam socha hai kya? I was like Preeti or something like that i'll go and tell. He was like kya pagal hai.
Have a look at this name "Rose Mary Marlo". First it dint strike me, I was like wats so special in this name just how you are thinking when reading this. Then he told me Style mai sharman joshi use karta hai when he cross dressses.And then i kept saying the name to myself twice and thrice when the real meaning of the name struck me!...

"Rose Mary Marlo" "Rose Mary Marlo"

I was like awesome!..this can be a great start.My name was announced and the host of the entire event asked me to introduce myself just how he told other zoadies.I tried to put on the fake girly accent which was getting tough cos my voice just wasnt coming out.

I started with " Hello Girls and hellooooo Boysssss....My name is Rose Mary Marlo"

the crowd went yeeeeee ... and woooo... and wohhhhh....lol...they got the name in one go I said it in such a seductive way.Then what happened was a series of flirtings and interaction with the crowd and the host who were in splits and laughing their heart out .. to which he commented "By far the cleverest answers till now. DJ I want the most amusing track for this lady over here."

And Mithun who was sitting next to DJ played which was expected out of him.Just guess the song that was being played."

kuaa maa doob jaaongi

O man...The steps which followed.. I started thinking of all the girly possible steps.. the booty shaking , the hips moving , the seductive moves , pulling my skirt up to show the crowd the one waxed leg..!!Going to the crowd who just went on laughing and laughing.There was not a single person in the crowd whose phone wasnt on.There were close to 100 phones taking my video as I am dancing as if m some top actress.
Everyone had to dance for just 1 minute but it was already past 2 min and that mithun still wouldnt stop the music and I was getting choked over there cos my throat had gone dry.Finally the music stopped and as it so happened... Only thing I could hear were the hooting , the shouting and the shouts of "once more" "once more" and the music started again for 30 seconds where I had to dance again and after the 30 seconds when I was panting like a dog on the ramp I see MTV VJ JOSE standing right next to me with his arms on me.I was like wtf wtf wtf!!!I always wanted to be on Mtv but not like this.. come on!!.. no no no..!!JOSE was " Boss kya performance thaa ab jab crowd mai gaye naachne ke liye aapka kya bolu sab kuch dikh raha tha. And I guess the guys and girls over here are cheering for you so much I think so they have a fetish for chest hair"I just kept on smiling and giving him replies in between.And then out of nowhere MTV feels like covering this particular event and then crowd went "rosie" "rosie" "we want rose mary marlo" and JOSE was like you are the hot favourite over here man.Even puneet and fahad were called to dance and we all were performing with the MTV camera rolling from one to other.I did the maar dala and the dola re dola and the kajra re and all the possible item number which made the crowd cheer like anything.After the entire thing was over. I see yash and jenis right behind laughing and smiling saying "wtf was that?" what a sport man!..I was announced the best performer and nitanta but it was obvious the host told " RoseMary Marlo stole the show"After I changed my clothes people on the stairs whenever they bumped into me had a different look on their face.Some had a smirk on their face and some had that apologetic smile...lol.. embarassed me further..
Bye bye soham who danced like an old hairy lady( as the judge told)

Bye bye snehal who waxed my one leg.

10-2 = 8 zoadies left

Then it was a sumo wrestling task wearing sumo costumes between the under performers left

Bye bye varun

Bye bye bhumika

8-2 = 6 zoadies left

Most Embarassing Day of My Life ends with a smile.

Zoadies Winner Takes It All - 3(Bitter Gourd is Sweet)

26th March - Thursday

Now it was one entire week that I was in the zoadies. It was the last and the final day with only 6 people left.

Malpani

Rutwick

Nitanta

Sunanda

Puneet

Fahad

I reached there around 1045 when almost everyone was there.Prarthana looks at me and tells me "Malpani you are glowing today"

I was like yaa " I stole the make up you provided me for cross dressing"

We were all relaxed and talking about what happened yesterday. People who were meeting me in college still kept on coming shaking hands and complimenting me on the cross dressing performance lol...

TASK NO. 5

Now this was one task which was challenging physically and mentally.

My college has a wierd but amazing structure as you can see the picture below.

the ropes were tied to the topmost floor(5th floor) of one building to the 5th floor of another one and we were asked to cross it end to end.

This thing is called "Valley Crossing"

We were divided into teams of 3 each where the 2 girls were the captain and made to choose and luckily i landed up with Nitanta and Puneet.

The task was 2 out of 3 in the team will do the valley crossing task and the third one will have to drink one entire bottle(1/2 litre) of bittergourd( karela) juice.

Puneet volunteered himself to drink the juice while I and nitanta were supposed to do the valley crossing both of us being light.

The team with the overall worst performance will be eliminated.

This task was simple till It was my turn to do it.

Before me the other team had already performed out of which Fahad did very well but he was down and out after the task got over. He needed glucose or something like that after that.

Then it was Rutwick who gave up mid way the task cos he cudnt pull it any further.

From my team Nitanta completed the task really easily. She looks small but she has lot of stamina and detrmination. She did it with the perfect technique and skill.

Now it was me.

To my advantage I had everything the tips the technique the estimation of whats gona happen.

I thought I'll do it.

I went on one of the terraces where Puneet scaring me " Malpani give up mat karna.. just keep trying "

The harness tied.. the timer set.. I started the task.

And the start that I took was the most pathetic starts ever. My legs got entangled in the rope and I had to use the entire energy in the start where people usually slide down easily.

So by the time I covered half the thing I was completely drained out.

I was just hanging in mid air. I had no phoboa of heights but the strength required was all gone.
I tried and tried and somehow covered 3/4th of the distance.

I saw up and Puneet and Nitanta were shouting like crazy "Try Malpani ho jayegaa.. 5 pulls more"

I saw down there were people looking like ants with their heads up. I heard some more cheers

" Go Malpani" .." Come on Malpani"

I was looking like a fool almost on the verge of quitting.

The gravity just pulls you down like anything and you cant help it..!!

There was a time where I was hanging in air with my head and my legs flying detached to the rope... and only support was through my stomach you know like a right hand side inverted "C"

It was aching like hell... and I cudnt pull my self up.

But completed the thing in 6 minutes 25 seconds. Nitanta did it in 3.35 minutes.

Rutwick dint complete and Fahad completed in 2.50 minutes

Puneet from my team and Sunanda from their team had to drink the karela ka juice.

Sunanda did it in 11 seconds I was amazed one 500 ml bottle I dont even drink water that fast.

Puneet even more... he finished that thing in 5 seconds.

From the looks of it. It was bitter and yuck!..

Our team won and the top 3 were announced

bye bye Fahad( awesome spirit)

bye bye Sunanda

bye bye Rutwick

6-3 = 3 zoadies left

TASK NO. 6 ( grand Finale)

top 3 - zoadies were there.. now each man for himself.

Puneet

Nitanta

Malpani

This task was the best. Our college has a rectangular lawn in the middle.

There were 4 drums kept at each corner of the lawn with half filled soapy water.

There was cycle locked in the middle of the lawn.

Each drum had a key in it. And only one of the keys was the correct one.

We had to jump in each drum get wet.. find the key jump out try if the key is correct if not jump into some other drum. If the key was the correct one open the cycle take two rounds of the lawn.

Park the cycle again and then go in the middle of the lawn again the bitter gourd juice (500 ml bottle was kept) drink it and the time stops.
Because of that karela ka juice I am thinking about this post sitting on my pot.It was crazy and Puneet poor guy had to drink twice.

The chits were made to decide the order.

Luck favoured me again. It was Puneet who had to go first. It was Nitanta second and I was third.

Puneet did a mistake in planning the things out he decided to jump in all the drums collected all the 4 keys and tried which one worked.

So he took in all 2 minutes 45 seconds to do it.

Nitanta got damn lucky she jumped in one of the drums and the key worked.

She did it in 1 minute 53 seconds.

I dint know what to do.

The adrenaline was there. I was gettin goose bumps. I was damn nervous.

No idea which drum to jump in I chose the downmost corner drum.. got the key tried..

damn it!.. wrong key...!!

I took the diagonally opposite drum.. tried...got the key..

and voila!!..it worked...

took 2 rounds.. drank the juice.. and as soon as i finished the last sip.

Mithun announced...

" 1 minute 38 seconds " People we have the winner of ZOADIES -

Prateek MALPANI.

Some of my friends ran towards me with red bull cans and the karela ka juice and the soapy water and poured it all over me.

Yes I finally won it and I had zero intention of even participating in it.

As I said what has to happen .. has to happen.

So I have

-zoadie winner tag

-rose mary marlo

-unexpected popularity

-1k cash ( dint matter)

-a FOCE watch worth 2.5k

-a one night stay at some goa hotel

-vouchers

Well Roadies nahi toh Zoadies Sahi...!!

It was all welcome..

The entire week was just awesome.

Another feather to the cap of the perfectness of my life.

Thank You Everyone.

College will never be the same . Thanks to ZOADIES.